The Christmas story is the world's best known story of birth after an unusual conception. Today, let's take a look at a few less well-known stories of unusual conception.
First (or is that last?) in the list is easily the most disturbing. Alan Moore's Neonomicon followed Agent Merril Brears and her partner as they investigate a serial killer. Their investigations led them to a Salem, Massachusetts sex shop, where a cult performed ritual orgies to attract a race of fishmen. The agents were exposed, with the cult killing her partner and raping Agent Brears before handing her over to the fishman. The fishman continuously raped Brears until she became pregnant, then allowed her to go. Brears is rescued, but knows with certainty that she's about to birth an ancient evil god, who will recreate the Earth in its image. The entire series is difficult to stomach, but the incessant supernatural rape scenes are particularly disturbing.
If the previous entry hadn't involved the violent, repeated violation of the mother involved, this would easily be the worst of the bunch. Marcus Immortus is actually born twice to women who were, for all intents and purposes, violated. And Marvel thought this was a good idea, at least until Chris Claremont had something to say about it.
The time lord of Limbo decided he was lonely, so of course he pulled a shipwrecked woman from the past and used his technology to make her believe she loved him. Their mating produced a son, Marcus, who was born and grew up in Limbo. The mother, who apparently never warranted a name, snapped back to her own time (and subsequent death) eventually. Immortus himself ceased to exist (kind of) when an alternate version of him (kind of) died (kind of), leaving Marcus all alone in Limbo. To remedy this, he pulled Carol Danvers, the Avenger then known as Ms. Marvel, out of time and does the same emotional whammy to her to make her believe she loved him. This time, though, instead of producing a child, Marcus impregnated Carol with a direct version of himself, then returned her to her own time with no memory of the hinky tryst. She goes through an accelerated pregnancy, giving birth to a baby that quickly grows up to be Marcus. It turns out that even with this second birth on Earth, Marcus was unable to survive away from Limbo, so he returned there, the brainwashed Carol accompanying him, her incredibly ignorant Avengers teammates wishing them well.
A few months later, Chris Claremont had Carol rescue herself from Limbo and confront the Avengers for just letting her go off with the guy who brainwashed and raped her so that he could father himself through her. Carol would have nothing to do with the team for many years after, until of course it was decided she should.
Tefé Holland's parentage is a little crowded. Tefé is partly Sprout, a plant spirit formed by The Green to replace their thought to be dead champion, Swamp Thing. She is also partly the child of Swamp Thing and his wife Abby, a human body that Sprout inhabits. However, her biological parents are Abby and John Constantine, who Swamp Thing was possessing at the time of the human body's conception. In addition, Constantine had the blood of the demon Negral running through his veins at the time of conception, so Tefé is also part demon. Fathers Day has to be a little expensive for her.
One night, Jamie Madrox, the Multiple Man, got drunk and created one or more duplicates, resulting in a double one-night stand with two of his X-Factor teammates. One of those teammates, Siryn, became pregnant, eventually giving birth to a son, who she named Sean after her late father.
Siryn would find out the hard way that the Jamie Madrox who slept with her that fateful night was actually a duplicate, and her son, the progeny of a duplicate, was thus also a duplicate. She found this out when Jamie held his son for the very first time and reabsorbed the little duplicate, resulting in the weirdest case of Sudden Instant Death Syndrome ever experienced. The aftereffects of that tragedy would be felt for quite some time in X-Factor.
The last entry of the list to feature traditional conception from actual sexual intercourse, Scott Hayden, Jr. is the son of an alien hiding in the body of the deceased Scott Hayden, Sr. and Hayden's widow, Jenny. Shot down by the US government, the alien went into hiding, forming a clone body for itself using the DNA of Hayden found in a lock of his hair. Despite the absolute weirdness of facing a duplicate of her dead husband and finding herself on the run from the authorities hunting the downed alien, Jenny still found an opportunity to have sex with this clone, whose super sperm made her pregnant on the first try.
All of this happened in Starman, the 1984 movie by John Carpenter. At the end of the film, the alien boarded a rescue ship and returned to space, leaving a now-pregnant Jenny to mourn the loss (kind of) of her husband (kind of) for the second time. In a shortlived 1986 television series, the alien returned, inhabiting a different human form this time, to meet his son (who has inherited alien powers from his father) and attempt to find the kid's missing mother.
Damian Wayne was conceived from a tryst between Batman and Talia, the daughter of the archvillian Ra's al Ghul. However, he was not actually developed and born in the customary way, instead being genetically manipulated and grown in an artificial womb to ensure his perfection (and, presumably, maintain his mother's girlish figure). Trained by his mother and the League of Assassins, Damian showed extreme physical and mental abilities even as a young child, along with a depraved indifference to the loss of human life. He would be taken in by his father to learn how to be a hero (as well as a decent human being), taking on the mantle of Robin.
Damian is still going strong, having proven to be a highly popular character in the hands of writers like his creator, Grant Morrison, and Peter Tomasi. A Robin to both his father as well as Dick Grayson during Dick's time in the guise of Batman, Damian would eventually die at the hands of the result of one of his mother's several failed attempts to create Damian. However, he would eventually get better, as one does.
Power Girl started out as the cousin of the Earth-2 Superman, but when Crisis on Infinite Earths removed the multiverse from DC Comics, they had to come up with a new origin for her. The one chosen was to make her an Atlantean who was the granddaughter of the sorcerer Arion. Arion was an odd and selfish character in his later incarnations, and in this case, he eventually decided on a whim to impregnate his granddaughter using his magicks, for apparently no real reason. Power Girl, experiencing a mysterious pregnancy prompted by absolutely no sex on her part, ended up giving birth to a son during DC's next major event, Zero Hour, as one does.
Power Girl would eventually learn her baby's origin, and her son, who was growing up at an accelerated pace, left her to protect her. He would eventually become a hero on his own named Equinox, complete with the humongous shoulder pads that all superheroes were contractually obligated to wear during the 90s. He would eventually realize his destiny to balance the forces of order and chaos, then fade from existence, never to be even mentioned again.
Billy and Tommy's conception is a little complicated, though that's to be expected on this list. Wanda Maximoff, the mutant sorceress known as the Scarlet Witch, was married to the Vision, an android, but desperately wanted kids. To achieve this, she used her magics to make herself pregnant and gave birth to twin boys, Thomas and William. She continued on as a superheroic mom until she found out that her sons were actually formed from shards of the soul of the demon Mephisto, who absorbed them back into himself, one of several tragedies that befell Wanda over a period of time, eventually resulting in her going quite mad.
Things didn't stop there, though. The power Wanda put into forming the souls of her lost sons caused them to break free from Mephisto once again and reincarnate as newborn boys from two different families. Billy Kaplan grew up a bullied gay youngster who developed powers similar to his mother. Tommy Shepherd grew up the son of divorcees who developed the speed powers of his uncle, Quicksilver. Billy found Tommy after joining the Young Avengers, and they would go one to eventually meet their original mother, because in comics, phrases like "original mother" make sense.
Ian Troi is the family friendly version of Marcus Immortus. A sentient energy being wishing to experience life as a human, the creature that would become Ian Troi encountered the USS Enterprise and became curious about the humans living inside. Choosing ship's counselor Deanna Troi as his host, the light being impregnated her and was delivered 36 hours later. He grew up rapidly while experiencing as much of the human experience as he could. However, the energy that he gave off indirectly endangered the crew of the ship, so he chose to die in order to spare them, reverting back to his energy form and departing.
This is another case of an entity impregnating an unsuspecting mother (a distressingly common theme in this list), but in this case, Deanna Troi was accepting and to a degree blissful over the experience. Her tears as she said goodbye to her host/son were tears of actual mourning, at least according to the script.
There are dozens of theories about the parentage of Anakin Skywalker, but the canon story is that one day, Shmi Skywalker found herself pregnant with no apparent father playing a hand (or any other body part) in the event. It is thought that Anakin might have been sired from the Force itself, which makes about as much sense as anything else in the prequel trilogy. Anakin would meet Jedis Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi, who would take him with them and train him in the ways of their order.
Eventually, of course, Anakin would father his own kids, Luke and Leia, just in time to become Darth Vader, slaughtering padawans and force choking Imperial officers to his heart's content in George Lucas's odd interpretation of the New Testament.
JL Franke is a fan of both hard science fiction and hard fantasy. He has been collecting comics for over 40 years and has been an on-and-off active member of online fandom for 25. Those interested can find other writings at his personal blog, NerdlyManor.com. When not geeking out, you may find him at a baseball park or cheering on his favorite college and pro football teams. In his spare time, he is chief scientist for a research and development laboratory somewhere in the Washington, DC greater metropolitan area.
10. Cthulhu
First (or is that last?) in the list is easily the most disturbing. Alan Moore's Neonomicon followed Agent Merril Brears and her partner as they investigate a serial killer. Their investigations led them to a Salem, Massachusetts sex shop, where a cult performed ritual orgies to attract a race of fishmen. The agents were exposed, with the cult killing her partner and raping Agent Brears before handing her over to the fishman. The fishman continuously raped Brears until she became pregnant, then allowed her to go. Brears is rescued, but knows with certainty that she's about to birth an ancient evil god, who will recreate the Earth in its image. The entire series is difficult to stomach, but the incessant supernatural rape scenes are particularly disturbing.
9. Marcus Immortus
If the previous entry hadn't involved the violent, repeated violation of the mother involved, this would easily be the worst of the bunch. Marcus Immortus is actually born twice to women who were, for all intents and purposes, violated. And Marvel thought this was a good idea, at least until Chris Claremont had something to say about it.
The time lord of Limbo decided he was lonely, so of course he pulled a shipwrecked woman from the past and used his technology to make her believe she loved him. Their mating produced a son, Marcus, who was born and grew up in Limbo. The mother, who apparently never warranted a name, snapped back to her own time (and subsequent death) eventually. Immortus himself ceased to exist (kind of) when an alternate version of him (kind of) died (kind of), leaving Marcus all alone in Limbo. To remedy this, he pulled Carol Danvers, the Avenger then known as Ms. Marvel, out of time and does the same emotional whammy to her to make her believe she loved him. This time, though, instead of producing a child, Marcus impregnated Carol with a direct version of himself, then returned her to her own time with no memory of the hinky tryst. She goes through an accelerated pregnancy, giving birth to a baby that quickly grows up to be Marcus. It turns out that even with this second birth on Earth, Marcus was unable to survive away from Limbo, so he returned there, the brainwashed Carol accompanying him, her incredibly ignorant Avengers teammates wishing them well.
A few months later, Chris Claremont had Carol rescue herself from Limbo and confront the Avengers for just letting her go off with the guy who brainwashed and raped her so that he could father himself through her. Carol would have nothing to do with the team for many years after, until of course it was decided she should.
8. Tefé Holland
Tefé Holland's parentage is a little crowded. Tefé is partly Sprout, a plant spirit formed by The Green to replace their thought to be dead champion, Swamp Thing. She is also partly the child of Swamp Thing and his wife Abby, a human body that Sprout inhabits. However, her biological parents are Abby and John Constantine, who Swamp Thing was possessing at the time of the human body's conception. In addition, Constantine had the blood of the demon Negral running through his veins at the time of conception, so Tefé is also part demon. Fathers Day has to be a little expensive for her.
7. Sean Madrox
One night, Jamie Madrox, the Multiple Man, got drunk and created one or more duplicates, resulting in a double one-night stand with two of his X-Factor teammates. One of those teammates, Siryn, became pregnant, eventually giving birth to a son, who she named Sean after her late father.
Siryn would find out the hard way that the Jamie Madrox who slept with her that fateful night was actually a duplicate, and her son, the progeny of a duplicate, was thus also a duplicate. She found this out when Jamie held his son for the very first time and reabsorbed the little duplicate, resulting in the weirdest case of Sudden Instant Death Syndrome ever experienced. The aftereffects of that tragedy would be felt for quite some time in X-Factor.
6. Scott Hayden, Jr.
The last entry of the list to feature traditional conception from actual sexual intercourse, Scott Hayden, Jr. is the son of an alien hiding in the body of the deceased Scott Hayden, Sr. and Hayden's widow, Jenny. Shot down by the US government, the alien went into hiding, forming a clone body for itself using the DNA of Hayden found in a lock of his hair. Despite the absolute weirdness of facing a duplicate of her dead husband and finding herself on the run from the authorities hunting the downed alien, Jenny still found an opportunity to have sex with this clone, whose super sperm made her pregnant on the first try.
All of this happened in Starman, the 1984 movie by John Carpenter. At the end of the film, the alien boarded a rescue ship and returned to space, leaving a now-pregnant Jenny to mourn the loss (kind of) of her husband (kind of) for the second time. In a shortlived 1986 television series, the alien returned, inhabiting a different human form this time, to meet his son (who has inherited alien powers from his father) and attempt to find the kid's missing mother.
5. Damian Wayne
Damian Wayne was conceived from a tryst between Batman and Talia, the daughter of the archvillian Ra's al Ghul. However, he was not actually developed and born in the customary way, instead being genetically manipulated and grown in an artificial womb to ensure his perfection (and, presumably, maintain his mother's girlish figure). Trained by his mother and the League of Assassins, Damian showed extreme physical and mental abilities even as a young child, along with a depraved indifference to the loss of human life. He would be taken in by his father to learn how to be a hero (as well as a decent human being), taking on the mantle of Robin.
Damian is still going strong, having proven to be a highly popular character in the hands of writers like his creator, Grant Morrison, and Peter Tomasi. A Robin to both his father as well as Dick Grayson during Dick's time in the guise of Batman, Damian would eventually die at the hands of the result of one of his mother's several failed attempts to create Damian. However, he would eventually get better, as one does.
4. Equinox
Power Girl started out as the cousin of the Earth-2 Superman, but when Crisis on Infinite Earths removed the multiverse from DC Comics, they had to come up with a new origin for her. The one chosen was to make her an Atlantean who was the granddaughter of the sorcerer Arion. Arion was an odd and selfish character in his later incarnations, and in this case, he eventually decided on a whim to impregnate his granddaughter using his magicks, for apparently no real reason. Power Girl, experiencing a mysterious pregnancy prompted by absolutely no sex on her part, ended up giving birth to a son during DC's next major event, Zero Hour, as one does.
Power Girl would eventually learn her baby's origin, and her son, who was growing up at an accelerated pace, left her to protect her. He would eventually become a hero on his own named Equinox, complete with the humongous shoulder pads that all superheroes were contractually obligated to wear during the 90s. He would eventually realize his destiny to balance the forces of order and chaos, then fade from existence, never to be even mentioned again.
3. Billy Kaplan and Tommy Shepherd
Billy and Tommy's conception is a little complicated, though that's to be expected on this list. Wanda Maximoff, the mutant sorceress known as the Scarlet Witch, was married to the Vision, an android, but desperately wanted kids. To achieve this, she used her magics to make herself pregnant and gave birth to twin boys, Thomas and William. She continued on as a superheroic mom until she found out that her sons were actually formed from shards of the soul of the demon Mephisto, who absorbed them back into himself, one of several tragedies that befell Wanda over a period of time, eventually resulting in her going quite mad.
Things didn't stop there, though. The power Wanda put into forming the souls of her lost sons caused them to break free from Mephisto once again and reincarnate as newborn boys from two different families. Billy Kaplan grew up a bullied gay youngster who developed powers similar to his mother. Tommy Shepherd grew up the son of divorcees who developed the speed powers of his uncle, Quicksilver. Billy found Tommy after joining the Young Avengers, and they would go one to eventually meet their original mother, because in comics, phrases like "original mother" make sense.
2. Ian Troi
Ian Troi is the family friendly version of Marcus Immortus. A sentient energy being wishing to experience life as a human, the creature that would become Ian Troi encountered the USS Enterprise and became curious about the humans living inside. Choosing ship's counselor Deanna Troi as his host, the light being impregnated her and was delivered 36 hours later. He grew up rapidly while experiencing as much of the human experience as he could. However, the energy that he gave off indirectly endangered the crew of the ship, so he chose to die in order to spare them, reverting back to his energy form and departing.
This is another case of an entity impregnating an unsuspecting mother (a distressingly common theme in this list), but in this case, Deanna Troi was accepting and to a degree blissful over the experience. Her tears as she said goodbye to her host/son were tears of actual mourning, at least according to the script.
1. Anakin Skywalker
There are dozens of theories about the parentage of Anakin Skywalker, but the canon story is that one day, Shmi Skywalker found herself pregnant with no apparent father playing a hand (or any other body part) in the event. It is thought that Anakin might have been sired from the Force itself, which makes about as much sense as anything else in the prequel trilogy. Anakin would meet Jedis Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi, who would take him with them and train him in the ways of their order.
Eventually, of course, Anakin would father his own kids, Luke and Leia, just in time to become Darth Vader, slaughtering padawans and force choking Imperial officers to his heart's content in George Lucas's odd interpretation of the New Testament.
JL Franke is a fan of both hard science fiction and hard fantasy. He has been collecting comics for over 40 years and has been an on-and-off active member of online fandom for 25. Those interested can find other writings at his personal blog, NerdlyManor.com. When not geeking out, you may find him at a baseball park or cheering on his favorite college and pro football teams. In his spare time, he is chief scientist for a research and development laboratory somewhere in the Washington, DC greater metropolitan area.
10 Genre Conceptions, from Least to Most Immaculate
Reviewed by JL Franke
on
Thursday, December 21, 2017
Rating:
Reviewed by JL Franke
on
Thursday, December 21, 2017
Rating:
